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I have just had a very funny conversation with a colleague of mine called Pete. He had been dealing with a client who is called Daniel Druff. Pete had realised that this guy could actually be called Dan Druff, this created a few laughs around the office. We could not believe that his parents would have called him Daniel, how cruel. People in our office then started to think of other weird forenames that parents call their children.

First came a suggestion from our personnel officer, Jane. Now I had thought that Jane could come up with some decent efforts due to her role in the company. I was however left rather disappointed with her attempt which was Jack Daniels.

Gail gave it her best shot but it was also quite a poor effort. She stated that if a child had the surname of Lion it would be quite funny if their parents called him/her a name beginning with C. They would then be called in the future, Mr C Lion or Mrs C Lion.

A far better suggestion arrived from Gary in the form of Dwane Pipe. This was now in second place in our league table of cruel forenames that parents call their children. The best was however yet to come.

Just before I announce the winner, I must pre-warn the readers of this article that this name could be seen as offensive to some people.

The person who suggested this name was actually the head of our department, a Mr Mackrell. Well done sir for winning the competition and thinking of such a class name. So here we go for the winning entry, Phil McCrackin.

Stephen Hill runs The How To Stop Stammering Centre, he has a number of websites including:

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